By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
