In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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