If i come over, it means nothing
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
