my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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