Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He called his prostate his "boner button".
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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