I need help removing her.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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