UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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