I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize