As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
