I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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