im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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