she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
