So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
