You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
