Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
