Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
