it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize