Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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