I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
