yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
