This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
