Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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