I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
