Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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