the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
