my phone needs a breathalizer
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
