To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize