I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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