I've blown a few things in my day
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
