I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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