my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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