i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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