You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
not ubering you a puppy
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize