i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
