you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
