yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
