You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize