I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
