Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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