At least make sure they are 18
Why
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
