I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
