remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
