Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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