I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
