You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Randomize
