I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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