There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
