the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
