So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
