I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
