Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
