From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
