I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize