there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
