So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
