the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize