i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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