i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize