Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
