Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize