Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
