Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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