ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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