she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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