highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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