When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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