should my penis look like a turkey
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
you had me at cake vodka
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
