"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
