also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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