i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
